Friday, March 09, 2007
www.tootnyx.co.nr
changed. yea.
mooed on 9:04 PM Wednesday, February 21, 2007
mooed on 11:22 PM mooed on 7:34 PM Monday, February 19, 2007
mooed on 5:23 PM mooed on 4:20 PM mooed on 1:23 PM Saturday, February 17, 2007
mooed on 10:38 AM Tuesday, February 13, 2007
mooed on 8:33 PM mooed on 8:02 PM mooed on 7:38 PM Friday, February 09, 2007
mooed on 7:10 PM Thursday, February 08, 2007
mooed on 8:15 PM
just came back
went for a walk
have to eat dinner now
i guess i'll only have rice and egg.
at least there's an egg
i bet during the world war 2 the jews didnt even have that.
well even though i doubt they eat the kind of food i'll be eating
i don't even know how my egg will be cooked.
i hurt my neck a little while on the swing
i hurt my left knee while attempting to do skipping
i hurt myself emotionally when i typed the word 'swing' and sent it
my maid cooked spinach and i hated it
it's china spinach i suppose
dawn sent me a message
i reply
i sent my maid a message to get water for my sister
my egg is here
my egg is fried
the white was not well mixed with the yolk
the egg was not well cooked
but it's not entirely her fault
it's also mine
i'm choking a little
my heart is starting to hurt a little
i hope it does not get worse
the food is bland
i have no choice
eat it i shall
i'm having my dinner at 11
i've always hated the yolk
marry shall he
engagement lunch on this saturday
band exchange this saturday
birthday bash this saturday
what do you want me to do
die on this saturday?
i'm eating too quickly
a little too worried
about not getting all 'A's
impossible it is for me
but at least minimum B?
he said he wouldn't be angry
finished the egg i have
half a plate of rice left
spoon and chopsticks crossed
messed up like my life
i'll be an aunt
maybe in august
old i feel
not too good not too bad
i'm no longer the youngest
nor does it make a difference
i'm still spoilt
we grew so quickly
time wasted blindly
i forgot how they looked
they forgot how tiny i was
now there's an addition
is that good or bad
i want to leave
this family of mine
i want to be alone
to have a peace of mind
when can i lie
in my coffin
buried under a bed of tulips
or have my ashes strewn in the sea
i don't know what the hell i'm doing. mad. going to do work now. X(
i hate blogger..... wassup with the new google blog thingy.. like freak la!!!!
don't want means don't want right.. keep pestering for what!
ok. let's talk about today..
got back results.
history.. a little disappointing.. 19/25.. still managed an a1
chinese.. amazing. 42/50.. my highest in secondary school life (this shows that i'm not really good in chinese) hiak.. got highest in class.. but still a little unhappy about it... well because rachael got lower than me..
there's this stupid problem with me. whenever rachael gets lower marks than me for any test i feel super bad.. i don't know why.
X(
anyway. i'm kinda playing dress up.. well no not really
a little fed up right now. very sleepy!!!!!!!!!
ok. yesterday was madness..
went to marina square, specialist centre, centrepoint, far east plaza, wisma, taka, wisma
i spent 165 bucks on clothes yesterday. i know i'm a bloody spendthrift and i should die.
anyway.. correction to my previous post, my mum gave me 200 for ang pow money not 150.
ok. bought a white mango skirt and jeans..
skirt costs 75
jeans 90
i know. slap me
he wants me to get all As for my studies.
i doubt i can
especially for geography and math and english and yeah
i'm a little afraid i might get a C for any subject.
at least this time i'll try to get minimum a b4
sigh. and yet here i am. slacking away. i want to try a b3 for math actually. it's rather ambitious for a math retard like me.
but yeah, time to change my life. time to change the impression teachers' have of me.
i'm very very very scared of science graded assignment, math test, geography test, history test, mep test, english test
well practically it's almost all of my tests... but the ones i'm most worried about is geography and math.
study! study! study!
going to study on the bus on the way to TKGS this saturday.
HMMPH
decided not to go out this week (except the party) and week 9 and 10. have to make sure i do well for my tests.
i shall only permit myself to go to united square starbucks because i kind of study there. yeah. freaking out. freaking out.
>.<
i'm still very addicted to clothes. i can't help it. rah!
everytime when i go to a shop.
i either see nice clothes but they're super expensive OR not nice clothes but yeah pricing is ok..
OR i see nice clothes pricing ok but no size
i always feel very depressed after that. even if i bought clothes i'll still feel depressed if my sister didnt
probably it's because i don't feel accomplished. i know i'm lame i'm retarded i should do my work. ok.
WAH.. AS IF THAT DATE VERY POPULAR.
darling ryan gosling is born on the same day as jia yu and wong.. how amazing. :(((
ryan gosling is damn ugly when he's young.. he rocks in the notebook luh.. 
hiak... ryan gosling and rachel mcadams in the notebook.. they're the perfect couple man...
they're a bloody hot couple la.. (to me)
anyway.. duno why i'm blogging so much today.. >.<
go ryan gosling!!
oh yea.. i carn stand it.. half nelson is m18 and i carn watch..
WOOOOO!!
i finished geog assignment... hiak hiak hiak
anyway.. now doing science ws and shun bian studying for science graded assignment...
ang pow money
hiak.. pathetic.
got 6 red packets only..
mostly 10 bucks.. from my granduncles i think.. dun really noe them.. only one auntie gave me.. didnt see the rest that day.. who cares. and my granny gave and mum and dad too..
mainly all 10-20 bucks from relatives.. dad gave 50. mum gave 150.
sigh.. i feel kinda bad cos mum's been giving us alot of money.. X( not gonna use too much of my ang pow money to spend.. well at least i hope i don't.. cos i hv a really bad feeling i will.. XO
in total i received: 252 bucks.
hmm... sad.. i duno how to do science.. i want tuition.. must do well for science this year.. musn't slack and fail on purpose like last year.. rah!
sad. suddenly feeling sad.. dun think i can go to reservoir today.. was raining.. i hate it when it's wet.. wanna go watch a movie.. but sis might not allow.. X(
anyway... new year clothes i got:
yellow dress from urban&co.
teeshirt from P.O.A. superstore
red dress from P.O.A. superstore
red dress i dun like from far east plaza...
gonna talk abt condoms now
stayed at intercontinental hotel. they provide intimacy kit.. i opened it to see.. they include a sterilizer and a condom.. 
cool aye? i wanted to bring one home but my sis said i was mad so i didnt
anyway.. in shanghai.. watsons have like so so so so so many more different brands and flavours of condoms.. hiak hiak.. i got so frightened by the sight of it.. couldn't take a picture.. cos mum's secretary was with us.. so i had to behave properly..
around my mum's neighbourhood they have condom vending machines.. 
hahaha.. sis and i wanted to buy one to see how it works but a guy walked pass and stared at us cos he saw us taking a photo of it.. hahahahahahahahaha... mum said it's hard to find a 15 or 16 yr old virgin in china.. lol... i didn't noe china was still so active in sex even though one child policy is still in effect..
i miss shanghai.. wanna go back again.. can see kosmos!!! the cutie pie.. 
he just loves to fart at my face to suffocate me
i wanna go back.. we get to buy dvds.. and i get to watch R21 movies i dun get to watch in singapore.. watched many movies in shanghai..
watched:
the asylum
amelie.... (very lazy to type)
the notebook
swing girls
borat
sin city
american pie(band camp)
black dahlia
imagine me & you
yea.. should be all these.... hah.. 9 movies..
i want to watch a movie right now. i feel so desperate to get out of home even though i just came home last night from the hotel. i hate being at home. it sucks.
O H H O L Y F U C K I N G S H I T
G E T ME O U T O F H E R E N O W
super bored. am on the verge of giving up geog assignment.. koped this from jia's blog.. i miss jia yu!!! :(((((
The First
First best friend: my bolster?? or toy? how i noe
First self purchased album: dun rmb.. bought so many cds of cos canot rmb la
First funeral: great grandma i think
First pets: it's either my dead doggie or fishes or rabbits
First piercing/tattoo: ear piercing.. closed already.. :((((((
First enemy: i hv alot la... how i rmb..
First play/musical/performance: dun remember
The Currents
Current best friends: PMIW, godddad
Current marital status: Single.. oh man..
Current song playing: bang the doldrums. fall out boy
Current thoughts: oh god. i wanna die
Current status online: what the llama are you talking about!
Current wonder: i wanna go shoppppinnnnnnggggggggg
Current instrument played: piano... percs........
Current need: do homework. get a life
The Lasts
Last cigarette: i dun smoke and i hate smokers
Last good cry: er... last night or wat? dun rmb.. i cry alot..
Last movie seen: lemme think..... is it alfie?? hvnt watched movie for a long time
Last beverage drank: water
Last food consumed: porridge
Last phone call: my maid.. so that she can bring things up to my room for me.. hiak..
Last tv show watched: duno wat movie la
Last time showered: er... dun rmb!! HAHAHAHA
Last shoes worn: puma shoes
Last cd played: fall out boy
Last item bought: erm... clothes.. on sunday or saturday
Last disappointment: elit test. i dun rmb.. i'm always disappointed
Last annoyance: everyone??
Last ice cream eaten: duno..
Last shirt worn: band squad tee.. hiak! i use as home tee... hahaha
Last play/musical/performance: elgar concert
–
LAYER ONE: What is your..?
– Name: Nyx Ng Li Wen
– Birth date: 2 feb 1993
– Birthplace: Singapore
– Current Location: At home.
– Eye Color: Black
– Hair Color: Black
– Height: 160cm
– Right handed or Left handed: Right
LAYER TWO:
– Heritage: errrr... i'm kinda like mixed asian.. my grandad from mum's side is balinese then grandma from mum's side is chinese malay and ah gong from dad's side is from china then grandma from dad's side is singapore i think..
– Weakness: i need to get a life
– Biggest fears: gettting sucky results and no more goddad and PMIW
– Your perfect pizza: dun really care
– Goal you’d like to achieve: get a life
LAYER THREE: Your~{!-~}?
– Most overused phrase(s): go suck ur fucking dick, what the llama is that, go suck ur nana, etc etc
– Thoughts when first wake up: (On weekdays)i wanna sleep (On weekends) i wanna go out
– Best physical feature: erm. no comments
– Usual bedtime: i duno. very irregular
– Most missed memory: going out with goddad and jiayu xinyi shushien
LAYER 4: pREFERences..
– Pepsi or Coke: pepsi
– McDonald’s or Burger King: burger king
– Icq or Msn: msn
– Lipton Iced Tea or Nestea:nah
– Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
– Cappuccino or Latte: nah
LAYER FIVE: Do you~{!-~}?
– Smoke: No.
– Sing: er.
– Take a shower every day: yea
– Want to get married: i dun believe in goddamn marriages but i think i might if i nvr die
– Believe in yourself: i nvr did
– Get motion sickness: sometimes
– are a health freak: no
– Get along with your parents: no
– Play an instrument: yes
LAYER SIX: In the past month, ‘ve you~{!-~}?
– Drank alcohol: No only mocktail. eh wait. i did.. i drank beer
– Gone to the mall: Yes.
– Eaten sushi: Yes.
– Been on stage: Yes. we played badminton on stage
– Gone skating: no
– Shoplifted: no
– Changed who you were to fit in: dun think so
LAYER EIGHT:
– Age you hope to be married: sometimes
– Numbers and Names of Children: er.. IKE!!! i love the name ike.. so kinky like my name...
– Describe your Dream Wedding: er. deserted area not in singapore
– How do you want to die: peacefully
– What do you want to be when you grow up? a person who lies in her coffin. i dun even noe la
LAYER NINE: In a girl/boy, you would want~{!-~}?
– Best eye color: dun really care.. not pink or anything lesbian can already
– Best hair color: black
– Short or long hair: Short. not too short.. not too long..
-Height: Taller than me. 170 plus plus
– Weight: 60 plus below 70
– Best first date location:in a fitting room(hahaha. kidding) somewhere i can kill myself.. preferably somewhere where there is a railing tat i can sit on and there isnt other people.. must hv trees ard. i love trees. no way in a restaurant or mall or watsoeva
LAYER TEN: List the number of:
– Drugs taken illegally: i nvr took them
– People I trust with my life: no one
– CDs that I own: alot alot
– Piercings: none
– Tattoos: None.
– Times my name has appeared in the newspaper: None.
– Scars on my body: None.
– Things in my past that I regret: My whole life.
i feel so depressed. i'm alone again. and i dun want to do work. things suck. i wanna go out.. maybe i'll go for a walk at the reservoir after i finsh my work later... i'm so bored that i've decided to bathe.. will blog about condoms maybe later..
angry. i hate chinese new year. so troublesome...
dun wanna see granny and those stupid fucking relatives of mine.
anyway... dun talk cny...
ok.. update on results..
lit got super bad... only managed a 10.. :( almost cried.. but i canot cry infront of mrs chan...
science.. surprisingly i got second in class. :))))))) 12.5 to think i got so depressed over it for a few days.. so sian la.. lost to fabia by 0.5 marks...
english oral presentation.. for class evaluation.. my group got 1st!!!! hiak hiak hiak.. but i duno the results ms chan gave.. :( i think my group did quite well... :) love u guys!!
went out to watch concert with dawn ann nikki mag loh clarice on thurs... hiak... dawn clarice and i got lost all thanks to me.. hehehehe.. sorry!!! i kinda forgot my way.. we were almost late for the concert luh...
i dun like going out with my friends.. all they do is complain about my dressing.. and it pisses me off. going out with my sis is better.. my dear "fashion consultant"...
seriously, talking about clothes... i dun get what's so great about OP shirts or wateva... suck la... and what's so great about all time jeans and mini skirt.. i dun personally like denim.. ok.. very seldom i do... mini skirts.. hmm.. and shorts too.. it's not that i dun like it.. but i just cant stand the sight of all stupid girls wearing those hot shorts when they hv ugly slanted/fat/flabby/scarred legs... doesnt mean that you're skinny means ur legs are nice kaye.. ur legs might not be straight and they might hv all those teeny weeny little moles or scars or insect bites.. worse still, i hate girls who wear shorts till their freaking butt line can be seen.. it totally turns me off. grossness. if u're so desperate for people to see ur ugly ass just film a porn video of ur butt and put it on the net for people with bad taste to see. dun let the whole world see it. especially kids.. who knows some kid might run up to u and poke and pinch ur ugly ass.
and what's with guys liking skinny, short, act cute, exposed, big eyed, thick makeup, ah lian style girls.. to me. they look all the same.. well of course except for some.. i seriously can't stand girls who use those high pitched act cute whiny voice to talk to their boyfriends.. grosses me out.
yesterday.. was at m)phosis with mum and sis. one stupid girl went in to the changing room with her boyfriend.. like pls.. the changing rooms are meant for women. it's against the rule of the shop. my mum told the worker and the worker went to talk to that guy and girl.. and they said it's none of her business. like goddammit!! hiak.. then after that the manager came.. woohoo.. suck man u fucking bitch and bastard.. this kind of inconsiderate selfish rude bastards should just suck a cow's nana. nad the girl damn ugly can.. guy too.. the boyfriend want to go in to the changing room for wat.. fuck his ugly girlfriend ah.. brainless people
oh yea.. yesterday bought a new dress and necklace.. necklace i dun find it very erm.. how to say.. different. i like my dress. yellow dress.. :))) quite ex.. 69 or 70.. gonna wear it tomorrow..
okie.. gotta put eyeliner now.. i love my eyeliner.. but i dun put like estherbelle hor.. hers so grosss......
dun wanna blog anymore.. X( another day perhaps
emo kid me. u'll see me crying in school almost everyday
emo kid me. i'll probably stop eating nasi lemak every week
emo kid me. not sleeping early.
emo kid me. i feel alive and pain once again.
i need my medicine
my chemical romance, three cheers for sweet revenge. medicine for my depressed emotions and mindset.
i shall ignore goddaddy.
finally i get to blog.
finally i get to use my laptop
i feel so depressed.
i feel so neglected
my parents dun give a fucking damn about what i'm doing or how i feel. they dun even noe what i do
my sister is busy working and "flirting" with ehem ehem ehem
my brother is always out till very late at night
my maid is so irritating and self centered
my dogs are busy trying to run out
my fishes i duno what they're doing, probably busy getting laid..
my toys are struggling on my bed to breathe and get space
worse still, i feel VERY neglected by my godfather.
oh well, things suck for me. well they always do but it's just that i'm feeling more heavy in my heart nowadays.. even though i'm like still loud and noisy and irritating and retarded i'm super unhappy.. welll most of the time i am..
but now since i'm more alone... friends keep quarrelling over silly stuff and reconcile later
friends going to leave the country. no more goddaddy to talk to. no more goddaddy to help me with my work. no more goddaddy to laugh with. no more goddaddy to make me happy. things suck like shit. they're even worse than shit.
i wish i could die... as in, i dunoo... i don't know what the fuck is the problem with me. i feel so freaking tired whenever it reaches 8 or 9 when last year i usually sleep at 2am.. i carn do my work properly.. i study for tests but i still fucking suck. my moodswings has come back. people are starting to call me emo kid again. well not that they did stop but yeah.. they kinda didnt mention it for quite long..
i think i'm super boring and irritating. maybe that's why i'm like so damn neglected by goddaddy.
i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck i suck
i'm a bloody fucking attention seeker i should die and perish from this world. (not that i don't want to)
tomorrow is valentine's day. not very interesting. nothing much will happen. well i think so.. i'm very desperate to grow up, get away from my family, get away from school, get away from the society and just lie in bed till i die. ok wait.. correction. myabe not. ok most probably i'll work. oh wait. i'll be gone already... well at least i hope so...
i think i'm very stupid. as in.. really. i'm not books smart i'm not smart in any aspect of life. i dream too much. i want too much. i want every single thing my way. i want the impossible. i don't want to be me. i hate myself like fucking shit. everyone hates me like fucking shit. that's why i'm so fucking neglected and nobody really gives a damn. DIE DIE DIE!
i need to get a life.
forget everything.
molly leong. you watch out. you made my friends cry. you're gonna get it. watch your ass. no. watch your hair, you evil one.
besides people.. for those of you who are cursing her to die.. pls don't.. for living is the only way for suffering.
great. today is so so depressing... got back MEP.. managed to get a1 but i'm still not happy with it. then jia yu and xin yi quarrelled. very fed up. cried. cos they keep quarrelling and i always end up hving to be the mediator. and i always get hurt by them. music lesson was cool... we became technicians instead of musicians. fixed computer and stuff.. silly nikki duno how to do.. so fun la.. i saw chopin's poster and i was like "my idol!" mr cher said,"that's mr wong" and i was like"no. that's chopin my idol." mr cher replied,"some batch used to call him chopin." i was like,"ok. chopin's my idol"
then i got to know from kim during lunch that truth ppl were crying. so i rushed down to their classrooms to check.. yea and lots of stuff happened. became a little emo during band.. rachel too.. cried.. saddening. i got kinda fed up.. i duno why.. cos i was pissed off i think... with all the depressing stuff in a day... >.<
shushien and alot of ppl wants mr wong back. but he cant come back. and tat's a fact. i dun even noe if he can help u guys.. i'll try to help u guys kaye? dun be so upset over that monster freak bitch.
anyway.. i want to tell molly this:
you fucking asshole bitch. you leave my friends alone if you want to get fucked by desperate drunk and drugged drunkards. you stay away from my friends or i'll pull your hair and shave you bald, this includes your ugly eyebrows you fucking slut. whore, pros, you porno bitch lesbian. suck your fucking nana and kiss your ass. fucking bitch go stuff yourself in a drain and slowly get fucked by cats. then you'll give birth to hucats and they'll hv a cat body and the exact same head and hair you have. you fucking slut. leave my friends alone you bitch. you don't even understand your own students so don't expect to get what you expected to. you fucking jerk.
pure madness. got back english compre.. i almost failed. 11/20. yea i should slap myself.
insanity. got back science graded after english. i almost failed. 5/10. yea i should die.
i cried after getting back my results. yeah. cant control my fucking emotions again.
i noe, i'm ridiculous.
i was all about feeling depressed during band. yeah. "the sun is so bright. it is so depressing"
very fed up with mr ong cos he always nvr conduct for sunrise and it's so fucking complicating for me to play without conductor. like F****** H*** U A******!
anyway... why the hell do my seniors think i look like the incredibles violet??
these are pictures of her if u ppl dun rmb... 
they say is cos of the hair and eyes.. maybe hair la.. eyes really meh.. dunno how my eyes look like.. hehe..
obviously i'm not looking in a mirror. 
tralala.. i'm so bored.. i hv homework to do but i dun feel like doing..
i just did an incredibles quiz and they say i'm violet.. oh wateva.. i'm so bored!!!
X(
ok.. gona do my work then sleep.. TOOOOOT